Disclaimer: I am not a doctor, therapist, or medical professional. This article is based on my personal experience homeschooling my own children with multiple diagnoses. Every child is different. Always consult with qualified healthcare providers, therapists, or specialists for medical advice specific to your child's needs.
When your child has one diagnosis, you can find a book about it. When your child has three, four, or five overlapping diagnoses, the books contradict each other—and none of them seem to describe YOUR kid.
I homeschool multiple children with combinations of ADHD, autism spectrum traits, ODD, sensory processing differences, anxiety, and learning delays. Here's what I've learned works—not from theory, but from years of trial and error in our actual living room.
The Problem with Single-Diagnosis Advice
Most resources assume your child fits neatly into one box. "ADHD kids need movement breaks!" But what if movement dysregulates your sensory-sensitive kid? "Autistic children thrive on routine!" But what if their ODD makes them resist any structure you create?
When diagnoses overlap, you have to become your own expert. You observe, adapt, and throw out anything that doesn't work for YOUR child—even if it "should" work according to the experts.
Accommodations That Actually Work
1. The Pomodoro Method (Modified)
25 minutes of work, 5-minute break. But here's the key: the timer is non-negotiable, the output is flexible. If they only finished half the worksheet in 25 minutes, that's okay. The timer ends the work, not the completion of the task.
This removes the "I'll never finish" despair that triggers meltdowns.
2. Checklists Over Schedules
Rigid time-based schedules create anxiety and power struggles. Instead, we use checklists: these things need to happen today, in whatever order works.
Kids with ODD resist being told WHEN to do things. Giving them control over sequence reduces resistance while still ensuring completion.
3. Reduce Transitions
Every transition is a potential meltdown trigger. We batch similar subjects together and minimize "switching gears." Morning is all seated work. Afternoon is all hands-on or movement-based.
Fewer transitions = fewer opportunities for dysregulation.
4. Verbal Prompts, Not Written Instructions
For kids with processing delays or written communication challenges, a page full of instructions is overwhelming. I give one verbal instruction at a time, wait for completion, then give the next.
"Open your math book" → wait → "Turn to page 42" → wait → "Do problems 1-5."
5. Sensory-Friendly Workspace
This doesn't require expensive equipment. Our accommodations include:
- Noise-canceling headphones (or just regular headphones with calm music)
- Fidget tools that don't make noise
- Option to stand, sit on the floor, or use a wobble cushion
- Reduced visual clutter in the work area
- Natural lighting when possible
6. The Premack Principle (First/Then)
"First math, then screen time." The preferred activity comes AFTER the non-preferred one. This isn't bribery—it's how motivation works for brains that struggle with delayed gratification.
Keep the "first" task short and achievable. Build success.
7. Meltdown Protocol
When a meltdown happens (not if), we have a plan:
- Stop the academic demand immediately
- Move to a calm-down space (not as punishment)
- Offer co-regulation (sitting nearby, not talking)
- Wait until fully regulated before discussing what happened
- Resume academics later or the next day—no shame
What We Stopped Doing
Sometimes knowing what NOT to do is just as important:
- Stopped requiring eye contact during instruction (it actually reduces comprehension for some kids)
- Stopped insisting on "proper" posture (if they learn better upside down, let them be upside down)
- Stopped comparing to grade-level expectations (progress is progress)
- Stopped using token/reward systems that created more conflict than motivation
- Stopped pushing through meltdowns (nothing is learned in a dysregulated state)
The 80% Rule
We don't move on until a child demonstrates 80% understanding—not 100%. Perfectionism is the enemy of progress, especially for anxious kids. 80% means they've got it. We can revisit later if needed.
You Know Your Child Best
No blog post, book, or expert knows your child like you do. Take what works from this list. Ignore what doesn't. Keep observing, keep adapting, and give yourself grace.
You're not failing because your child doesn't fit the mold. You're succeeding because you're building something that fits THEM.
Need more support?
RHE curriculum is designed with neurodiverse learners in mind. Reach out to connect with other parents walking this path.